In my About, it says I create because there's a monster inside me that needs to be released through the act of creation. That's only partially true, I'm realizing. Yes, when I go too long without creating something, it itches in my throat and behind my eyes, demanding a release that only something made with my own hands can remedy.
Truly, I thought it began and ended in the Self. That's what made sense, because I've always kept to my Self. The few friends I made online have moved on, and that's okay-- at some point we ran out of things to talk about, both sides afraid of deeper connection.
But now, thinking as I often do, I reaize I don't just create for myself anymore. I create for my friends. And isn't that something? This divine act of Creation, now my own two hands work for someone outside my Self, someone beloved.
The shift happened, the realization occured, after one of my best friends had me watch Look Back. (I've now seen it twice) Its thesis-- that we create for those we love-- has struck me. And I realize I do create for Others, and always have. I've been writing for both mySelf and Others for years. On fanfiction websites, sharing what original fiction I wrote with my family, and each drawing, painting, sketch, made for another person outside of my Self-- There is a world of human experience, a web of connection that we are all a part of.
I realized as I update and revamp my projects, that I am speaking through them, a chorus of I love you, I love you, I love you that is directed not only towards those I know, but towards those I don't as well.
I used to believe that the universe was uncaring. But now I realize that while the world by itself is often cruel, and dangerous, and so so vast; the entities that make up life on this planet aren't always like that. We choose kindness, whether through free will or biological imperative, it doesn't matter. What matters is we, through the bonds we make, create a kind world. Only together, can we create a kind world.